THE CARTOGRAPHER

I have been commissioned by HMG

To map your beauty for all to see

With specific reference to

The scenic routes from A to B

My knowledge must be intimate

To every inch and its fraction

Because the legislation is in place

To declare you a natural attraction

I’ll need access to your heartland

My contours will ripple from there

I’ll traverse your undulations

Establish a private thoroughfare

I shall conquer your mountains

And descend into your valleys

I’ll march across your plains

And explore your entries and alleys.

People will recognise my symbols

For your eyes, your nose, your lips

All your tourists will want them

At their Googling fingertips

They want to know to the last degree

The angles of your elevations

And they want to experience them all

As ordnance survey revelations