SONNETS AND LIMERICKS (A poem for two people)

                                                                      I write limericks

                                                      And I write sonnets

                                                                               (Together)

                                                                               We are totally obsessed

                                                We have bees in our bonnets

                                                      I have fourteen lines

                                    And I have just five

                                                      I can make my words waltz

                                             And I can make mine jive

                                    My rhymes are all a joke

                                          I am here to make you laugh

                                                      My rhymes are for lovers

                               Who haven’t had a bath

                                                      I can make you sigh

                                But I can make you grin

                                                      I can bring a tear to your eye

                                   If I kick you on your shin

                                                      I write of red, red roses

                                                      How they open, like my heart

                                                      And how the scent of them will carry

                                Half the distance of a fart

                         I know you are from Dundee

                                          And I yearn for your embrace

                                        With barnacles all on one knee

                            And seaweed all over your face

                                                      I will write earnestly of love

                                               I of an old woman from somewhere

                                                      And how I shall count the stars above

                                      Waving her knickers in the air.

                                                      I will say I love you for ever

                                                      And swear I’ll always be true

                                                      We’ll always hold each other’s hand

                                            Cos’ they’re stuck with superglue.

                                                      If music be the food of love

                                         Then make mine a sausage roll

                                                      My hunger grows all the more

                                      For sloppy custard in a bowl.