NETTLES

Do yer want some?

Well, do yer?

Come close enough and’

We’ll stick it to yer.

Fancy yer chances?

Think you’re tough?

You’ll soon be yelling

You’ve had enough.

Because we’re nettles

An’ we’ve got barbs and stings

Instead of flowers and petals.

We don’t snarl or bite

We can’t make a scene

We’re just horribly ugly

An’ totally mean.

We hang around

Just being sly

Till an arm or leg

Brushes by

Then we get yer

Because we’re nettles

An’ we’ve got barbs and stings

Instead of flowers and petals.

 

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Don’t be fooled by nettles, they really do hate you. Think about it: nothing else feels their stings because all other animals are protected by fur, or hair, or feathers or a complete lack of nerves or brain. So the nettles have evolved their stings especially to hurt humans, no one else and just for the sake of it.  They don’t offer protection because a scythe, a strimmer or a big stick soon sorts them out. Therefore, their stings are pure malice. You feel the sting and then it goes away, but two hours later it comes back and hurts all over again.  They are sneaky and really do hate us. Left alone for another 10 million years they would evolve the ability to use poisoned daggers.