There was a man from Beirut

Who said, “I don’t give a hoot!

I’ll keep plucking my owl

As if it were fowl

There! Now it’s as bald as a coot.”

*

The new Bishop of Newport Pagnall

Could only move on the diagonal

But when he met his flock

He left them in shock

By walking down the aisle zig-zaganal

*

A bad tempered man from Fife

Found his marital rows running rife

She wouldn’t shut up, he said.

So he shot her, now she’s dead

Anything for a quiet wife