I was out in darkest Africa

Seeking animals for my zoo

When from behind a rock

Leapt an elephant who said BOO!

I was somewhat taken aback

I couldn’t believe my eyes

“W-Who are you?” I stammered.

“Ah,” he said: “I am the elephant of surprise.”

I came across two large birds

Reading Shakespeare over a carcass

You just can’t get the food

For we’d prefer petit de foie gras

But if you have access to Google

We suggest you con-sult yours

You’ll find we are a very rare

Mating pair of culture vul-tures

Africa’s a dangerous place

I found a woman close to death’s door

She was sweet and middle aged

But lying amid blood and gore

She had been hunted down and savaged

And I suspected it was a cheetah

But with her dying breath she told me

It was a favourite-aunt eater.

In the middle of the night I heard it

The sound I wanted in my zoo

Parp parp, Toot toot, parp parp

And Toot toot, Parp parp, Toot toot

What can it be? I asked all puzzled

But my guide declared, I Know!

For I have often listened to the call

Of the wild two-horned rhino.