I was out in darkest Africa
Seeking animals for my zoo
When from behind a rock
Leapt an elephant who said BOO!
I was somewhat taken aback
I couldn’t believe my eyes
“W-Who are you?” I stammered.
“Ah,” he said: “I am the elephant of surprise.”
I came across two large birds
Reading Shakespeare over a carcass
You just can’t get the food
For we’d prefer petit de foie gras
But if you have access to Google
We suggest you con-sult yours
You’ll find we are a very rare
Mating pair of culture vul-tures
Africa’s a dangerous place
I found a woman close to death’s door
She was sweet and middle aged
But lying amid blood and gore
She had been hunted down and savaged
And I suspected it was a cheetah
But with her dying breath she told me
It was a favourite-aunt eater.
In the middle of the night I heard it
The sound I wanted in my zoo
Parp parp, Toot toot, parp parp
And Toot toot, Parp parp, Toot toot
What can it be? I asked all puzzled
But my guide declared, I Know!
For I have often listened to the call
Of the wild two-horned rhino.
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